There are several solid mandates when it comes to a first date, guys: don’t talk about your exes, pick up the bill, and iron your shirt. (Or at least throw it in the dryer for a few minutes.) But when it comes to staking your claim to a second date, little things like that won’t make or break your chances.
1. Be curious
If you’ve implemented an “Is she right for me?” outlook, this will come naturally. But it’s worth emphasizing: Ask questions and listen as much, if not more than you talk. But don’t drill her with an onslaught of queries. To keep your questions from coming off as interview-y, I suggest simply turning them into statements. For instance, if she’s talking about her travels, try this: “I’m planning a vacation myself. How about a few tips on where I should go?” It makes it a conversation, rather than a straight question-and-answer session.
2. Keep things Light but not too light
No one wants to come off as boring, but a lot of guys take things too far the other way. Joking too much makes you look nervous, or like the class clown. But a healthy sense of humour conveys a flexible and forgiving attitude about life. Keep the conversation on positive topics and away from anything heavy your first night together but don’t force the humour. It’s just uncomfortable.
3. Challenge her
The majority of men out on first dates don’t stand up for themselves in the presence of a beautiful woman. Now that doesn’t mean you should go into a first date ready to make war. The goal is not to be a pushover and have opinions. For example, if she’s checking her phone, call her out on it, nicely of course. It is truly rare to find a man who can call her on her crap in an honest, composed, patient, calm, and self-assured way that isn’t about disrespecting her, but instead, is simply about respecting himself. For women especially intimidating ones, it can be refreshing to meet a guy who can hold his own around her.
4. Lock down the second date
Forget the three-day rule. Most women like a guy to book the second date at the end of the first date. You can say, “I had a great time with you tonight. You’re a lot of fun to be with. I’d love to take you out again.” If you get the reaction you want, ask if she has any preferences on the day or activity, and then tell her you’ll call her within a day or two to finalize plans. And we’re back to tip No. 1. After all, they can also help you get a third date.
Lots of relationships which start out as first date disasters actually go on to become quite happy ones. But this does not mean you should take a chance with a girl whom you particularly want to know better. So have confidence in your charms and at the same time be a real gentleman. And your date is sure to be seeing a lot more of you than others.
So you may feel that you aren’t being approached as often as you deserve. You’re going out and being social, but you just don’t see why other women get “hit on” more than you do. I have good news for you. This situation is really much simpler than you think it is. The fact you must remember is that when men are considering making the first approach, they don’t know anything about you yet. This means that there are very few reasons why a man WON’T approach you. In fact, there are only four main reasons. If you find that you aren’t getting approached enough, I’m willing to bet that one of them applies to you. The first two are fairly obvious; the other two are a bit more subtle. I can explain all of them and offer a simple solution to each. And for other dating tips, you might as well want to try out free phone chat for more tips and lessons about dating.
Onward to the four reasons…
1. He doesn’t find you physically attractive.
I won’t go into this too much. This one is fairly obvious, and you women are the experts in this area. There’s an endless list of ways to make yourself better looking. Get a makeover. Learn how to do your hair and makeup better. Develop healthy habits and start a workout routine. Learn how to dress in ways that enhance your better features. You can’t instantly become a super model, but you CAN always look your best. And frankly, there’s no reason not to.
2. You’re currently occupied or unapproachable.
A man won’t approach you if you’re obviously busy or occupied with something. Here are some common mistakes I see.
In a bar or party situation, a common mistake I see is when women are out with too big of a group. Unless he’s particularly confident and bold, a man likely will not approach you if you’re occupied in conversation with four other people. If you’re hoping to be approached, try to keep it to just another friend or two.
3. You’re TOO physically attractive.
Here’s where things get a little confusing. I know that in reason number one I said to always look your best. Unfortunately, the better looking you are, the more likely you are to be seen as “out of his league” and thus not approachable. But as I mentioned earlier, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing! This simply means that only the most confident men will approach you. If you’re ok with this, then congrats! However, if you’re still wanting to be approached more often, then read on.
4. You’re seen as too much effort.
Here’s the really complicated one. Depending on what you’re looking for, being seen as “too much effort” is usually a good thing!
If you want to be approached, you must communicate that you are both open to meeting a new person in that moment and that you are WORTH being approached.
Once you strike a balance between looking your best and adopting the appropriate standards for the men who approach you, you can be certain that you’re always being approached by the men you want.
Cheers, and happy hunting!
When going out and meeting new people, I find that I get attracted more to charismatic guys, instead of just the handsome ones. These are folks who, even from first glance, just has this aura that appeals you to them – well, I’ve had my fair share of such guys.
Now, for myself and maybe for you out there, have you ever wondered how these people just have this magnetic quality to them? It’s almost annoying! It’s, like, effortless for them to attract others, again, just by standing and breathing, even. Are you with me with this frustration?
I wouldn’t say I’m lacking beauty (yes, let’s be confident!) but I think I don’t exactly have that charm to get men to experience “love at first sight” with me. I’d want that, mind you. But it just seems quite impossible or hard, to say the least.
Nevertheless, I’ve learned that charisma may actually be a skill – you can learn and develop it. It doesn’t mean that if you don’t have it now, you won’t have it forever. This is such good news! Then again, how do we do that?
- Be confident.
They say you have to start by having a positive attitude. You have to feel good. If this isn’t you right now, then it’s time to take the time and effort to know, accept and love yourself. Doing so, others will see and feel that you’re comfortable with who you are and that will be beautiful.
- Be interested.
More than focusing on being interesting, you have to show your interest to others. Though you’d want for the other party to be interested with you, you have to be the same. Engage yourself with them by having conversations, asking questions and the like. It’s not always about you. But it’s okay, because the man you may be talking with may find your curiosity to be cute and attractive. Just remember to not go overboard!
- Practice Eye Contact
The eyes can definitely say a lot, we all know that. But some of us still do struggle when it comes to eye contact, especially with that hot stranger. “I need to hold my gaze with this man!” you may think. Then again, how should you do it?
Too much or too little – that’s no-no. You can try out doing eye contact with a friend, for instance, for a second longer than you normally would. See how that works. Is that comfortable for the two of you? If so, then you’re doing great. You just need to make this a habit and use that on the next hottie.
- Use Body Language
Your body, your movements and your gestures can show your personality as well. Don’t be stiff because that can make you seem unapproachable. Smile, laugh if appropriate – be expressive. This makes folks more open to interact with you since you’re so jolly and friendly.
Don’t go, “I don’t have charisma.” Instead, think, “I can (learn how to) be charismatic!”
Have you got a date you were so excited all week about, then the weather just didn’t cooperate with you? That’s such a downer! I’ve got this man to spend the weekend with but out of all days, it rains?
But during those times, it really pays to be positive. So what if it’s pouring? While it may have ruined your plans (read: activities that can’t be done with rain), you can still find alternatives to still make the night enjoyable for both you and your partner. Let’s stop dwelling on what we can’t change. How about going through this list to see what you can substitute for rainy date night?
- Get to know each other in a café
Maybe you’re still early on in the relationship, or you just want to do some talking. Well, a café is a perfect setting – it’s warm and cosy, plus you get to enjoy a hot cup (or two) of coffee ideal for the current weather!
- Visit a local museum
You may both appreciate art, so this is an opportunity to visit that art place that just opened downtown. For this, you get to take sights that satisfy your creative soul, and you even have the companion that just gets your interests. Win-win!
- Embrace the rain
If both of you are feeling adventurous, you can just brave into the rain and get yourselves wet. Be like kids again and play with the water. I guarantee it will be a fun and unforgettable date. It’d be better if either of your house is near though so that changing clothes will be faster and easier.
- Cook a meal
Impress your date by whipping him up a dish that’s your specialty. Make it dreamier by going to the supermarket together and buying the groceries. I find such to be so cute and quite a glimpse of the future together.
- Read a book together
Bookworms? Then you should snuggle at home together and read that novel you’ve been discussing since before! Or if the book may be too long to go through together, you could talk about a story you’ve both read. Agree and disagree with each other – this debate will make you more comfortable with each other.
- Play pool/bowling
While most sports are done outside, there are still those you can do inside. It’s even better if you don’t know these activities because you can ask your man to teach you! You’ll get to be closer to each other, figuratively and literally.
- Watch a TV show or movie
If there’s no choice but to be stuck indoors due to heavy weather conditions, then perhaps it’s time to grab the remote and settle for a show that you both like or you both have not watched but are interested in. Or if you have a DVD you’ve been itching to see, then that’ll work. This’ll be the chance to get in each other’s arms too (think horror movies).
So, do these save rainy date night?
Online dating isn’t really a foreign thing nowadays, right? This high-tech type is, of course, different from the traditional one but it still has the same purpose: to start and form relationships, and then maybe have a future together.
But even if it seems easy to find anyone of the opposite sex on the Internet now, it’s important to still be careful about who you know and interact with. Just like in real life, you have to avoid being so open. While it’s good to be friendly and raw for your quest for Mr. Right, do avoid revealing any of your very personal information. This is especially if you haven’t even met each other and dated in person.
For starters, have your dating profile filled only with a contact platform you want to share. This could be just your phone number or your address but never these two together. If you’re going to link your social media accounts like Facebook and Twitter, make sure that not one of them has other information as well. See, if your profile fails to reveal your location, but then when someone goes to your Facebook, they see your house number, then everything’s pretty useless.
Before fully trusting, it’s better that you meet them up and do so in a public place. If the man suggests otherwise, like your home or his, then that’s just suspicious. When you’re in the midst of a lot of people like a restaurant or a coffee shop, then there’ll be witnesses if anything may go wrong for your date.
You should also tell your family and friends about this person and about your coming meet-up. This is to assure where you’ll be at that specific time and who you’re with. Something happens, then your loved ones will be able to find who’s responsible. Keeping things hush-hush might not be good but if you’re uncomfortable telling everyone, just go and share it to the folks closest to your heart just to be safe.
Having a car may be advantageous as well. This avoids the chance that your date may offer a ride and trust me, it’ll be hard to be alone with someone in a car when you just want to go home right that instant. Driving yourself home in your own vehicle would be great.
Then again, you have to watch out when you’ll be out drinking too. Please do stay sober. Even if you have your personal car, it still won’t be anything if you get too drunk. It becomes another opportunity for the other party to take you in his ride.
Of course, not all men are going to be dangerous, but again, it will still pay to be cautious. Don’t let your guard down just yet, more so when it’s still early on in the relationship. Enjoy your time with him but also really get to know him before actually going deep into your connection.
Well, stay safe when finding love, ladies, all right? And have fun!
Hey guys, Janna here. We’ve been down for a little while, but now, we’re back on track!
Over the recent months, our focus was to give the site a new look. I’m pretty sure many of you had once scoffed at our webpage design. It was clunky, it was tacky, it had laggy chat. Basically, it was an antiquated artefact of Web 1.0.
Now, we’ve added new features. You could now create your own complete accounts and with your complete names, not just your own handle. We’ve also added a new featured article tab for you writers and contributors out there. We want your posts and we want the world to know you wrote it.
We’ve always wanted to include people in our team and I guess this is the best way to introduce them. This feature would be helpful in some way. However, we’re actually in need of editors. So if you want to apply, I suggest you head over to the contacts page.
As for our dating and match-making services, I would like to apologize early for our new monetization feature. This is because we want to improve our services for you. Keeping up a matchmaking service and maintaining all the information and database isn’t cheap. So we apologize once again.
But then again, our screening process will guarantee that each participant has the potential to be one of the possible best partners you might have. Online dating must always have ample security or else we fail in serving you.
So, what’s up with us? Well, in keeping up with the tradition of updating you with our own love lives, I NOW HAVE A BOYFRIEND!
Yes, his name is Jesse and I found him right here, on this website. Apparently, he was applying for a position in us then, things happened. I’ll share it in detail as soon as I get to make another post.
For Alfred, well, he’s still our crash test dummy for ideas and other perspectives. He’s still up for it, though he says he is on the verge of finding the woman of his dreams “whuut”.
Billy has toned down a bit he says. He said that he wants to stop his womanizing act and get straight with his life. I know you’re all interested with what happened to his date before. Well, aren’t you in for a surprise!
It’s never easy being the only girl on the team but it does provide the luxury of knowing more about guys and keeping this blog with a balanced perspective of men and women. After all, we’re a matchmaking service with some proper advisory and guidelines to match.
We all want you to have a swell time talking together and knowing more about each other. If you have stories to tell, you could always count on us to share your success and startling stories.
So, until then, we should talk again. This is Janna signing off for now. If you’d like to read more about the things I write, stay tuned in this blog.
I have a whole lot of things to share with you about my adventures with Jesse while we were renovating this website!